one might say we're banned from that church
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
