I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
