And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
