Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
you never un-have a 4some
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