stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
