Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
