Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
