Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
