If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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