And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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