I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
