took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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