I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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