dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
