Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
