You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
