Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
