He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You can't just leave with hair like that
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize