Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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