the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize