Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
