My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize