i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
