And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
