just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just found puke in my bra..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
