i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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