going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
