the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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