I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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