Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
