I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
