no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
