hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize