I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
