never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
