Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
