I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize