her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
