then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You are the jesus of drinking
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
