its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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