Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
