She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize
