He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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