i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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