No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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