To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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