So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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