let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
