I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
