you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
