Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize