I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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