So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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