just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize