Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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