Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
