I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
