If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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