I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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