In America we eat man semen.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize