Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
where are my eyebrows?
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