Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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