I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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